Father John

It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath, and the young nun,
Sister Magdalene, had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun
had instructed. Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Father
John's nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do, and
pray.
The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturday night
bath had gone.

"Oh, sister," said the young nun dreamily, "I've been saved."
"Saved? And how did that come about?" asked the old nun.
"Well, when Father John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to wash him,
and while I was washing him he guided my hand down between his legs where he
said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven."
"Did he now?" said the old nun evenly.
Sister Magdalene continued, "And Father John said that if the Key to Heaven
fits my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to me and I would be
assured salvation and eternal peace. And then Father John guided his Key to
Heaven into my lock."
"Is that a fact?" said the old nun even more evenly.
"At first it hurt terribly, but Father John said the pathway to salvation
was often painful and that the glory of God would soon swell my heart with
ecstasy. And it did, it felt so good being saved."
"That wicked old bastard," exclaimed the old nun. "He told me it was
Gabriel's Horn and I've been blowing it for 40 years."