jokes

1. A Foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.

 2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption:
 Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD

After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY


 3. Three FASTEST means of Communication:



 1. Tele-Phone

 2. Tele-Vision

 3. Tell to Woman


 Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.


4. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman.

 Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
 Moral: BE SPECIFIC


 5. What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time?

 It is When your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your Friends.


 6. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life.
If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.


7. Question: When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.

 Answer: On their MARRIAGE.


 8. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please  PAY the  ELECTRICITY BILL.


 9. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.
Because per  Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake.

 10. "A Ship is always safe at the shore - but that is NOT what it is built for" - Albert Einstein