maternity home

Ø       A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to labor is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth.

 

Ø       "I'm afraid I don't have a husband" she replies.

 

Ø       "O.K. Do you have a boyfriend?" asks the Midwife.

 

Ø       "No, no boyfriend either."

 

Ø       "Do you have a partner then?"

 

Ø       "No, I'm not attached; I'll be having my baby on my own."

 

Ø       After the birth the midwife again speaks to the young woman, "You have a healthy bouncing baby girl, but I must warn you before you see her that the baby is black".

 

Ø       "Well," replies the girl, "I was very down on my luck, with no money and nowhere to live, and so I accepted a job in a p*rno movie. The lead man was black."

 

Ø       "Oh, I'm very sorry," says the midwife, "that's really none of my business and I'm sorry that I have to ask you these awkward questions but I must also tell you that the baby has blonde hair."

 

Ø       "Well yes," the girl again replies, "you see the co-star in the movie was this Swedish guy."

 

Ø       "Oh, I'm sorry," the midwife repeats, "that's really none of my business either and I hate to pry further but your baby also has slanted eyes."

 

Ø       "Yes," continues the girl, "there was a little Chinese man also in the movie, I really had no choice."

 

Ø       At this, the midwife again apologizes, collects the baby and presents her to the girl, who immediately proceeds to give baby a slap on the butt. The baby starts crying and the mother exclaims, "Thank god for that!"

 

Ø       "What do you mean?" says the midwife, shocked.

 

Ø       "Well," says the girl extremely relieved, "I had this horrible feeling that it was going to bark."